Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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