dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize