My hand turned me down
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
