I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
