dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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