So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Randomize
