TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
