So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Drake has all the answers
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
