dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
