So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
