so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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