Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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