i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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