i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
