You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
