I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
a search helicopter?!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
