i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
