you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
