Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize