hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize