When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
