I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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