One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
