careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
