Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
whose parrot is this?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
