I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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