What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
