Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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