you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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