That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
