Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
