Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
