I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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