Plan B is the new Plan A
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
