ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
