I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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