I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
