it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize