There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
