Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
