so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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