she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
