I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
