I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
