She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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