Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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