I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
then he tried to convert me to islam
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
