She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
