when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize