ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
