watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
