Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
