Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
