none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
