You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
