Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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