I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
