super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
