so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
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