Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize