Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
