i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
