I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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