i just google imaged poop.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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