my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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