At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
