cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
