It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
