So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
babies were throwing up all over the place
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
