I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
